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Cmon Zodi. Focus. Quit getting distracted so easily.

So I’m supposed to be tying an essay for English, but I don’t exactly enjoy writing about depressing Indian people and their dieing family members, so I think I’ll rant for a few minutes here.

Hm, now whats on my mind lately. You see I’ve really been thinking, which is bad because I’m like not right in the head and so these things go everywhere, but try to follow. During school on what was it Monday or something, I was walking around campus in the morning before class to see the same people sitting in the same spots doing the same things every day. It made me think about how so many people go through life every day in the same rut as the day before and as they will tomorrow. It’s really quite sad. I mean, just think about it for a second. Me personally, I get really uncomfortable when things are too repetitive, for example, my room. If my room stays the same too long, I go insane and usually end up sleeping downstairs or changing it. Or at least I used to because now my room is twice as small as my old one, with the edition of a gigantic desk that alone takes up half my room, AS WELL AS a much larger bed (than my old one) that takes up the other half of my room and because of this, I can’t move my room around, AND we don’t have a guest room that i can sleep in, so I’m pretty much sitting here ready to rip my hair out of its roots. The only thing left too is to sleep on the floor and imagine a different room. Oh where was I? hmm *scrolls up* Oh yeah! While writing my essay I found this quote by Albert Einstein.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

So many of us live every day, like my math teacher would say, like robots, programed to do this this and that then do it again the next day, but really isn’t it true? Do we learn from our mistakes or do we push them aside and tell ourselves that we’ll get it the next time? Do we live our days like they are our last, or do we live without minds, simply doing what you did the day before. And most importantly, do we hope for tomorrow?

Why do we live? For my non christian friends, is it to finally see if that guy will ask you out, or if you can get an A on that test you think you bombed, or for my christian friends, is it to think, oh God totally owes me for doing this for him, I’m sure that something good will happen to me today. Every day that goes by should be as precious as the breathes you take to stay alive, but so many of us take them for granted. Now who am I to say these things. I live my life just like the rest, always expecting a tomorrow. But I kind of figured that its about time to get my act straight.

I’ve lived 5555 days (wow weird number) and each day that I’ve lived, I’ve wasted a whole 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86400 seconds, that I could have used to do something. Even as I sit here and write this seconds are ticking by where I could be doing something, but no matter, whose to say that me writing this isn’t influencing another to have a second thought about their lives? Hahah I hope it does. Try it, calculate how many hours of your life has past(and if you wan’t you should post it :), and just think about it. Really there’s not much time to waste.

K…so i took a nap earlier because…i was tired lol right… neeways i took the nap and in my dream i was apparently visiting my old elementary school (which looked nothing like my actual elementary school but whatever not the point). And so me and my brother were being driven by my dad to the school, and we tried getting in this back way that doesn’t exist and we couldn’t get in so i got really mad and decided to go in through the front. But then this lady had this whole discussion with me about how i was contaminated and i could kill the little elementary babies playing in the front or something like that. So i got mad again cause i wanted to see my teachers, and we argued for a good amount of time until the lady finally went to go ask who i thought would be the principal if i could enter. she was really nervous and finally said ok and rushed in a building, and came out with blankets… Then she proceeded to wrap me in the blankets, making very sure to hold my mouth so that i couldn’t breathe on the kids, and she also told me to hold my breath. (just wait it gets worse). Then i got in and wandered around until i found my old math teacher, who had apparently died her hair and turned into a complete nervous wreck (like seriously when i walked into the classroom she was huddled in the corner in a fettle position). Annnnyyywaaayyss i didn’t want to talk to her cause she looked ready to cry at the drop of a hat so i left and found the other 6th grade math teacher and said hi and he asked me if i was doing well in KUPC (my church) i was like….yes……i am…….lol. then i left and found my english teacher, who aparently got demoted from 6th grade english to 4th grade cooking ( i didnt even know 4th grade had cooking) so we started talking then  woke up cause my mom called me… should i stop eating girl scout cookies before i take naps? i think so!~

Yesterday i made a cake for the guy that i like and this morning before class i left it on his desk in first period. Then i see him in 5th period so i went up to him and asked him what it was (playing dumb). He said it was a cake blah blah so i asked him if he had eaten some because there were pieces missing. He said that his friends had eaten some but he had not. So i stood there kind of wanting to slap him but i didnt (durr). Aaannyways after school he told me that he wasnt going to eat any until he found out who it was from. But he thought he knew who it was from some other girl names Sophie. Now im just dissapointed that shes getting credit for my cake xDD gosh people keep telling me i should tell him but whatever right? haha it doesnt matter, Forever for my Lord!~ <3 He’d probrably get jealous again. hehehe

Look at her there. See how she smiles. Lifts her hand to rub her eye, but I saw that tear. She’s not happy. She’s suffering. But she’ll never say. She’d never tell or show her heart to anyone. Not her parents, they’d just send her to the doctor, call her sick. They wouldn’t accept it. Not her friends, they’ll all judge her, like they judged their teachers and everyone else. No, there’s no one out there to tell. So she just keeps it in. Locked her heart, hid the key. No, she didn’t hide it, she gave it to a demon. Told it that it could do anything, just for taking the key away from her. And so there she laughs. With her hands in her pockets and her hair in her eyes. Laughing. Laughing. But wait.